I was not supposed to visit an OB yet but yesterday I woke up with my first "spotting" experience. I was so worried and alarmed because I never experienced bleeding with my first pregnancy. My hubby took a leave from work so he and Arya could go with me to the doctor. But I told him that it would be better if I go alone so he could also save his energy. And I would prefer if he and Arya would avoid unnecessary trips to the hospital as much as possible.
I have been asking friends for feedback and been reading on OB and hospital recommendations. For my hospital choice, I had 2 choices- Hospital A and Hospital B - both top tier hospitals in the metro. From my research, I was able to narrow it down to 3 OB's from Hospital B. As for Hospital A, I only had 1 OB on my list. However, in case we wouldn't be able to get a reliable helper next year, I might consider giving birth in the province so at least my mom and sisters can help us take care of the baby. Giving birth in the province is a last resort, though. Prior to my "spotting" experience, I already called for an appointment with the OB in Hospital A. I was scheduled for a consultation after a week since the OB was not yet available- she was out of the country. My game plan was, if the consultation with Hospital A OB did not go well, I would proceed to Hospital B and take my pick among my three choices.
Back to the story. I was in Hospital B around 11 AM, Doctor 1 could not accommodate walk-in patients, while Doctor 2 was not scheduled to come in until 1:30 PM. I did not want to wait that long because I was feeling nauseated and very tired. So I went to Doctor 3's clinic, however when I got there, the secretary said that the OB had to attend a meeting and they would not be able to accommodate me.
I had no choice but to choose among the available doctors because my top 3 were not available. I considered waiting for Doctor 2 but I figured that I would probably be requested to undergo an ultrasound. I wanted to go home ASAP and get it over with as soon as possible. So I just decided to consult with Doctor 4- the available doctor that time. I thought maybe fate was leading me to her. And that even if she was not mentioned or recommended in the threads, she could be the doctor that I was looking for. She could be The One.
After around 40 minutes and 3 patients before me, it was finally my turn. I told Doctor 4 that I took the pregnancy test and that I have been feeling extra tired and nauseated lately so I was sure that I was pregnant. I also shared with her that I experienced spotting that morning, the reason I was there in the first place. She did not seem alarmed nor concerned. Then she asked me where I plan to give birth. I told her the truth- that I haven't decided where to give birth yet. I did not want to lie to her. And I think there was nothing wrong with taking my time to choose an OB. Besides, I was not planning to consult an OB until a week after. I asked her to give me an estimate of childbirth cost and fees. She asked if I had a normal or CS delivery with my first pregnancy. I answered CS. Then she said, "So CS ka na uli". I told her I was considering VBAC and I asked how much would she charge for a VBAC in Hospital B. She said VBAC would cost around P200k+, same as CS.
After that, I expressed my concern and worry over the spotting/bleeding that I experienced earlier that morning. She said she couldn't advise me anything yet and that I needed to decide on a doctor and hospital first. That a pre-natal consultation is different from a cold or cough consultation. That I needed to stick to a doctor. And she implied that if a patient plans to give birth in the province, she wouldn't entertain that patient. What she gave me was a prescription for folic acid and a request for an ultrasound. She did not even tell me to come back and bring the results to her even if the results would be readily available after the ultrasound.
Maybe my fatigue got the best of me. It was only when I was in the ultrasound department that I realized what an unkind OB that woman was. I believed her way of thinking was not right. I know other friends who have 2 OBs- one in Manila and one in the province where they plan to give birth. And what about the case of OFWs? What if I am a pregnant OFW in Singapore but plans to give birth in Manila? Her logic says that an OB in Singapore should not accommodate me as a patient since I plan to give birth in the Philippines anyway.
Maybe my fatigue got the best of me. It was only when I was in the ultrasound department that I realized what an unkind OB that woman was. I believed her way of thinking was not right. I know other friends who have 2 OBs- one in Manila and one in the province where they plan to give birth. And what about the case of OFWs? What if I am a pregnant OFW in Singapore but plans to give birth in Manila? Her logic says that an OB in Singapore should not accommodate me as a patient since I plan to give birth in the Philippines anyway.
Was it my fault? Did I offend her? Should I have lied? Was I expecting too much? Are my pregnancy hormones making me too emotional? Was it wrong for me to expect just a little bit of concern from her for me and for my baby? Because she clearly didn't express any at all. She did not even bother to give me some basic precautions or explain the possible causes of spotting. I paid for that consultation. I deserved her time and attention. Perhaps she was rushing because it was already lunch time and past her clinic hours, plus there were still patients waiting outside. If that's the case, she shouldn't have accepted more patients. But wait, I don't think she was rushing that time, because I just remembered she was still able to joke around with her staff for a few minutes before she turned my attention to me. Maybe that encounter was a sign that Hospital B was not for me. And whatever caused Doctor 4 to act that way did not matter anymore.
The OB-sonologist was way more compassionate than her. She advised me to avoid stress and to rest. And to let go of things I could not control. Whew! Doctors like The Unkind OB are precisely the reason why I am more careful in choosing an OB this time. I am blessed to know some highly competent and compassionate doctors and I really wish there were more doctors like them- doctors who do not see us patients as a statistic or as a number.
It's not my thing to vent online. I just want to tell my story and let the mommas know that we deserve the right pre-natal care and that we should not settle for a mediocre service. I did not write this to get some sympathy from my friends or from my fellow moms. I wrote this in the hope that a doctor or an aspiring doctor will read this. And decide to put some care and compassion into the equation and maybe just put a little bit more love and a little bit more passion in their profession.
I hope you mommas did not experience the same thing I did. I would like to hear your happy OB stories. OB horror stories are welcome, too. Just leave a comment or email me at themommaclub@gmail.com.
XOXO,
Momma Jay
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